Dear Football Association and Premier League, I am writing to inform you as to why I have fallen out of love with top flight football. I pondered over writing a letter, but after 20 pages, I thought a poem would be better.

The Beautiful Game?

It was 1992 and the Premier League was born,
The majestic Division One was apparently dated and worn.
The corporations charged in and proclaimed a new era,
The promise of Armani suits and 15 million for Shearer.

Our faces lit up before Match of the Day,
But the screen was blank and now we had to pay.
Mr Media had told us 'to believe in better'.
Forty pounds a month, we'll send you a letter.

I wanted to complain about the theft of the game,
But Mr Media owned opinion and half of our brain.

We waited for hours outside the training ground,
My son desperate to meet Mr Million Pounds.
The gates finally opened and the Ferrari zoomed out,
Past the handful of kids, ignoring their shout.

Forty quid a ticket and fifty for a kit,
Contracts mean nothing, a bottomless pit.
I yearn for the passion again, to stand proud and eager,
Salary caps and £15 entry, just like the Bundesliga.

Mr Wenger, I salute you for taking a stand,
Refuting the fans' pressure to pay 150 grand.
You showed it could be done when The Invincibles were brewing,
Yet you're still subjected to chants of, "You don't know what you're doing".

Pink boots and gloves sprinting down the line,
The defender makes a tackle, perfectly on time.
But the winger goes flying like a red arrow,
His muscly legs fold like those of a sparrow.

The honest tackle is met with a card,
Cheating is part of the game now, why make it hard?
He was no way near him! We've seen it on rewind!
We'll send it to the FA, they should be kind.

"We've seen the evidence and we can conclude,
the red card stands and we're not in the mood".
We keep our distance from the grassroots game,
Yet the money rolls in, so we laugh all the same.

We turn on the box, to watch the 'England stars',
The half-time ads come on and they're all eating Mars.
"Chocolate is good for our game, oh and so is Coke".
The obese children believed them and now they're the joke.

Fuelled by a savage press,
Our national team is such a mess.
Gone are the days they fought to play,
A convenient injury occurs, "Tell the gaffer not today".

At least we still have the greatest! The FA Cup. But two semi-finals at Wembley was double bubble,
So that's also gone t*ts up!

So you see, It's a little bit ugly now this beautiful game,
But now I've ranted and apportioned the blame.
My love affair with the top flight, is no more,
Not prepared to be a victim of this extortionate chore.

I went off in search of game again, where the football is true and gritty.
It's not the Premier league, I now love Truro City.

I await your kind response.

Duncan Drew

BillBlue added 11:05 - Apr 19 Blow all those lessons about Rhyme & parse, that is absolutely great! Super, well done but what gives with that name? COYB
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ITFCOYB added 14:22 - Apr 19 Good point BillBlue- i've done some research for you (no, it's fine- don't thank me): http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Duncan Apparently it is Anglicized from Scottish Gaelic Donnchadh, from donn (“brown”) + chadh (“chief, noble”). Who knew?
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IpswichFan26 added 16:33 - Apr 19 Great poem!
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exeterblu added 20:15 - Apr 19 Shear brilliance!
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BrandonsBlues added 20:28 - Apr 19 Good fun poem with so much truth
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alfromcol added 20:41 - Apr 19 Great job, excellent read, and unfortunately all very true
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Greybritain added 21:47 - Apr 19 Amen
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fanofblue added 22:52 - Apr 19 What a fantastic poem,sums up the thoughts of many fans up and down the country.The point about 2 semi finals at Wembley is spot on!
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leagueonescum added 10:49 - Apr 20 Thanks for your comments peeps! @billblue If you mean my name then ITFCOYB has it spot on. And in case you meant the 'leagueonescum', it was from those beautiful days when Naaaaaarwich were a league below us.
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leagueonescum added 11:39 - Apr 20 I HAD A REPLY!! Not adressing the wage or gate prices etc but a reply all the same. Dear Duncan, Thanks for your email, you have clearly taken a lot of time to construct your poem, and we thank you for your feedback. We feel that the Premier League has had another fantastic season. The competition was amongst some of the best in terms of unpredictability, excitement and quality. No club can enter a round of fixtures with an expectation of how that match is going to turn out. The weekend of the 5th February last season is testament to this, with 41 goals scored in one day. Fight backs from Newcastle United and Blackpool FC, Wolves beating Manchester United, having just hit their best form, all encapsulate many seasons in just 90 minutes. For all the talk of sponsors and money it is this kind of weekend that drives everything we do. It is all about the football. It is our responsibility to create a stable environment for our clubs to compete in. We do not feel, as some do, that football in England is irreparably damaged. Clearly there are issues that need addressing but there is far more right than wrong. The English game has moved on and developed over the past 19 years. Our clubs are working hard to maintain full attendances and improve supporter representation and fan communication, in a professional and progressive manner. The introduction of finance and governance measures, solidarity payments to the Football League and grass roots, the reshaping of Youth Development show the progression. We recognise that football has a huge cultural power and we are well aware of the level of responsibility that comes with it. Our standards are high, and we recognise the need to push for further improvements in the game. We believe that the work we are doing will continue to improve matters and have a positive impact on the game. Every team competing in the Premier League has a right to be there, and deserves to be competing in one of the best leagues in the world. We look forward to our future and will keep striving to be the best we possibly can be. We thank you for taking the time to share your opinions. We appreciate and understand the passion which you feel for the game and the future of football. Kind regards, Supporter Services

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SouperJim added 12:27 - Apr 24 I detect a high degree of cutting and pasting in that reply! I.e. everything other than "poem".
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leagueonescum added 18:35 - Apr 25 I agree. A bog standard reply :) Interestingly, it was accompanied by a 'no reply tag' which essentially states that they've had their say and that's the end of it. I expected no more.
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